One Question When You Can't Change Things

How long is your list of things you would like to change but can’t?

Your list may include:

• Other people’s behavior or attitudes
• Daily Chores that are on repeat
• Your state’s Covid mandates
• Winter’s bitter cold
• Lost opportunities

Now, you can stay in your sulky disposition or you can ask yourself the one question that will shift your internal conversation and frustration to empowerment.

One Great Question to Ask When You Can't Change Something

This one question will help you take control over what you can – you, and only you.

So what do I really have control over in my life?

You need to be reminded that not everything that happens in your life is within your control. The harsh realization is that you have no power over someone else, certain environments, forces of nature, or the past.

You may have some influence over the people you live or work with, but at the end of the day you really only have control over your choices, attitudes, perspective, and thinking.

If I Could Ask Paul. . .

I think one of the greatest examples in the Bible for taking control over personal choices, attitudes, perspective, and thoughts is the apostle Paul.

He wrote 4 letters from prison (Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, and Philemon) that are filled with Godly insight and instruction for how we can adjust to difficult and frustrating people, places, and things.

Go ahead. This is your opportunity to ask Paul.

Well dear, Paul would respond, I’ve already got this written down for you.

1. Switch your complaining to thanks and prayer.

Now I know Paul was thrilled with the people in Ephesus and their strong faith, but I bet if you complained to him about the irritating people in your life, he would tell you to switch your complaining to thanks and prayer.

(BTW, Paul repeats this theme of thanks and prayer in everyone of the Prison Epistles.)

2. Change your own attitude before you expect someone else to.

There is always a cooperation between the Holy Spirit’s work in your life and your obedience. You invite the Spirit to renew your attitude, but then as he works in your life you respond by following his leadership.

3. Let go of anger and instead be kind.

Picture Paul sitting on the floor of a filthy, rat-infested prison cell. They have given him the writing utensils of the day and as he formulates his words, they come out not in anger, but with encouragement and instruction to be kind.

How about you?

Stop building your arsenal.

Are you daily releasing anger, or are you rehearsing it every evening before you go to bed; trying to mentally collect proof in your defense and build up your arsenal for a new offense in the morning?

4. Stop the negative thoughts and instead focus on healthy thinking.

It all starts in your thoughts!

I love (and believe) this saying:

That is the power of your thinking patterns. Your destiny is eventually determined by either rogue, unhealthy thoughts, or thinking that is true, noble, right, pure, admirable, and excellent.

5. Learn how to be content in every situation.

We are prone to complaining and being dissatisfied.

Paul, in contrast, is trained in the secret of overcoming all things, as he is infused with the power of God in every situation. (TPT)

6. Change your conversation to sound like heaven.

I like to picture these verses with sitting at a heavenly table or an earthy table. I am invited through my new life in Christ to sit at the heavenly table where the conversation is filled with truth, joy, fulfillment, and goodness. I can choose to stay in those conversations or sit instead at the earthly table where the focus is competition, comparison, insecurity, self-consciousness, and fear.

7. Find ways to be generous.

You will be able to adjust to unfavorably situations if you switch into the generosity mode. Be generous with your care and concern. Be generous with thoughtful words. Be generous by working hard without taking the credit. Be generous in complimenting others. Be generous in every way possible.

Friends - I just want to remind you that God’s power is available in your weakness (and frustration at not being able to change things). Receive this power and you will be strong and able to handle every situation with joy, peace, and contentment.